I have to have a Thyroid Biopsy Friday…..UGH. I had one last year. And let’s just say I was not the most pleasant patient. It’s not that I was rude or mean, I was just seriously FREAKED OUT! I was not expecting it when I went in, so I was a little shocked.

Here’s how my Thyroid Biopsy goes down:

1. You lay flat on your back with your chin tilted up. Yea…the perfect view of the needles they are going to be sticking in your neck.

2. My doctor gave me a shot of lidocaine (or something like that) so that I did not feel the needles penetrating my neck. The only problem with that is…it doesn’t numb the inside…so..you will feel it.

3. She gets the ultrasound ready because, oh yea, they can’t see through your skin, so they have to use an ultrasound to guide the needle around your veins, windpipe, etc. Lovely.

4. It is about this time, seeing the needle coming at my throat that I think I started panicking. Now, I am not afraid of needles at all. But what I kept thinking was “Holy Cow…she can’t see where she is sticking that needle. She is going to stab me in the windpipe!” I am breathing heavy and she says, “You need to hold your breath otherwise the needle will move.” OMG..Seriously OMG!

5.  Once the needle is inserted into your neck, it moves around to find the nodule that needs to be biopsied. Once located, it is not just “Oh here it is, we are done!” NO! It is, “Oh here it is…let me push it in there and push, and push, and push, and push…and push.” They are trying to get a sample into that needle tip..and it is difficult. The worst part is, they don’t do it just once. They do it on several nodules to get a good sample….that same “insert needle…push…push…push”. And honestly, the only way I can explain the way I felt was that it felt like I had 20 pens stabbing me in the neck. I am so not joking.

6. Once all the biopsies are taken, if you are bleeding they will put a band aid on your neck. If not, you are good to go.

As for any side effects from this procedure – Last year I did not have any. None. My neck was a little sore that day, but after 24 hrs it was perfectly fine.

If you have to have a thyroid biopsy, here is my suggestion for you. Try not to worry about it. It is totally miserable when it is happening, but if you relax, close your eyes and just “go with the flow” it will be over before you know it.

And who knows? You might not have the same experience I did…this is the internet you know. You only hear of the stories of bad experiences. It is rare that someone would write a blog post about a thyroid biopsy that was all peaches and cream.

I will keep you updated!